肯特咨询集团双周简报
Bi-weekly Newsletter from KCG
Sep. 1st - 15th, 2014
简报介绍：肯特咨询集团双周简报致力于与您分享作为顶级教育咨询公司的优质服务和相关新闻，希望能够帮助您更多地了解关于肯特咨询的价值观和使命。
升学指导的理念
古希腊曾经有一位具有传奇色彩的盗贼，名为普罗克汝斯忒斯。他习惯强迫拉长或砍短他的受害者的双腿，以便把他们装入一定尺寸的床。这种方式对普罗克汝斯忒斯的行当来说很合适，但如果这样去做升学指导，结果会非常糟糕。密尔顿学术高中的学生不可能接受这种升学指导的理念。秉承于我们的座右铭和丰富的推崇个性化的历史，密尔顿的学生绝非一个模式，每一个学生都散发着他们自己的独特魅力。他们拒绝同质化。
密尔顿的升学指导办公室的升学指导服务正是围绕满足对个性化的需求而展开的。我们相信大学申请流程由学生开始并由学生结束。 我们知道每一个学生都有着不一样的故事。我们知道每个学生会按照他们自己的时间表和通过他们自己的方式来做大学申请。我们并不期望学生们按部就班的走流程。有些学生从第一天开始就会来造访。 每周，甚至每天都会来咨询有关信息。也有些人不怎么向我们办公室咨询问题，而是自己独立去完成整个流程。也有些人发现自己在申请学校方面根本没有准备好，而决定不参加申请。但只要他们准备好了，我们会随时欢迎他们。我们的指导原则就像一位好的老师提供帮助一样: 无论学生从哪儿开始，我们都会提供帮助。
同时，我们希望学生自己把控整个流程，我们的任务是引导，提供咨询，提问题，推荐，介绍，建议以及提供资讯。我们不会决定，要求，命令或者包装。在决定申请什么学校，文书里写什么，找谁推荐这些方面的事情，在最后必须由学生自己拿主意。学生要负责准时完成申请，报名参加必要的考试，请老师做推荐，获得申请材料以及填写表格。我们不会为学生做这些事情，他们的父母也不可以。
这样做对学校申请至关重要，实际它是可以缩短整个申请过程。在与密尔顿学生的父母谈话过程中，著名的心理学家迈克尔汤普森注意到大学申请的确是关乎分离和个体化的过程，是学生定义自我，独立于父母的过程。这是学生迈向成年人世界具有重大意义的一步， 至于最终去哪里上学是次要的。所以， 成年人（父母，升学顾问，教师，教练）有着义不容辞的责任去营造一种氛围，使得学生能从自己的生活中去发现并表达自我。第一段话对于一些老于世故的人来说，听起来似乎有些曲解或误导， 但是这些话有必要让学生听到并回应，以鼓励他们再次去尝试。我们发现在升学指导，学生和家长之间定期保持坦诚的沟通是很有必要的。我们鼓励父母提供意见， 只要学生处于主导的位子。但是当父母开始接管的时候，他们相当于剥夺了子女在成长为一个成人的过程中做决定的角色。
对学生尝试寻找他们自己申请学校的过程，我们的态度是既坦诚公开而又细致敏感，但这并不意味着我们对事实会进行美化。相反，在帮助学生确定申请学校的名单时，我们会很直接并很坦诚的评估他/她被录取的可能性。否则的话会适得其反。一个人成熟的表现是当他的自我意识和自信是源于现实，而并非源于轻飘飘的翅膀在空中飞扬而随意给出的承诺。但是这种诚实开始可能会让一些人难以接受，但大多数人会认识到当我们把学校称为”够一够”才能申到的学校时，并不意味着我们不支持学生的申请意愿。 学生和家长需要在他们做决定的时候多了解一些准确的信息。如果一个学生决定承担更高的风险，那便是他/她自己的决定；我们的责任是告知可能产生的后果，而并非为学生做最后的决定。家长也必须表达自己的声音，讲明原因和现实。过高的期望会给学生带来各种心理问题。一味的把目标集中在顶尖的学校，然后只是增加一些他们之前没有了解过的学校，这些学生到最后会在情感上遭受挫折。
最后，对学校申请过程最满意的学生都是那些最了解自己自身能力以及自己需求的，同时，也是能够找到最适合他们学校的人。他们对名单进行过深入的了解， 对核心的问题有充分的考虑，到最后，他们找到了很适合自己并愿全身心投入其中的学校。密尔顿的学生一直都拥有进取心和自我认知能力来追寻到自己的理想学校。他们倾听自己的心声，自己的想法，他们利用自己的洞察力来引导自己做决定，而并非学校排名。普罗克汝斯忒斯的床没有在他们学校寝室里等着他们。他们睡得很舒服。
College Counseling Philosophy
In ancient Greece a legendary robber named Procrustes used to force his victims to fit a certain bed by stretching or lopping off their legs. While this approach served Procrustes well in his chosen profession, it would have made him a terrible college counselor. And he would not have stood a chance with Milton Academy students. True to our motto and to our rich history of individualism, Milton students are not cookie-cutter types. Each burns with his or her own particular fire; each defies generalization.
The college counseling office at Milton builds its program around this individualism. We believe that the college counseling process begins and ends with the student. We know that each student has a different story to tell. We know that each will come to the college process in his/her own way in his/her own time. We do not expect students to proceed lockstep through this process. Some students will camp on our doorstep from the first day and seek input on a weekly, sometimes daily, basis. Some will make only minimal use of our office and proceed quite independently. A few may find they are not ready for the college process at all and choose not to participate. We will be ready when they are. Our guiding principle is much like that of a good teacher: Start wherever the student is.
At the same time, we expect students to take control of the process. Our job is to guide, counsel, probe, recommend, refer, suggest, and inform. We do not decide, require, command or package. Decisions about where to apply, what to write about in their essays, whom to ask for recommendations, must, in the end, be the student's. Students are responsible for getting applications out on time, signing up for tests on time, asking teachers for recommendations, acquiring applications and filling out forms. We do not do these things for our students – nor should their parents.
To do so, in fact, would be to short-circuit the developmental process that is so central to the college process. In speaking with Milton parents, Michael Thompson, a well-known psychologist, noted that the college process is really about separation or individuation, about the students defining themselves in terms independent of their parents. Where the student eventually goes to college is secondary to that first, profound step into adulthood. So it is incumbent upon the adults (parents, counselors, teachers, coaches) in a student's life to provide an atmosphere that allows her or him to find his/her voice in this process. The first utterances may seem garbled or misguided to our more mature ears, but they must be heard and responded to in a way that encourages the student to try again. We have found that regular and honest communication between the counselors, students, and parents is key. We encourage parental input as long as the student remains in the driver's seat. When parents begin to take over, they rob sons and daughters of an important "rite of passage" into an adult decision-making role.
Openness and sensitivity to a student's attempts to find his/her way through the college process does not mean we sugar-coat the truth, however. In helping a student build a college list, we will be straightforward and honest in our assessment of his or her chances for admission. To do otherwise would be a disservice. True maturity comes when a person's sense of self is grounded confidently in reality, not when it is flying on the gossamer wings of easy promise. While some find this honesty daunting at first, most come to realize that calling a school a reach does not mean that we won't support a student's desire to apply. Students and their families need to be armed with accurate information as they make decisions. If a student decides to take a high degree of risk, that is his or her choice; our responsibility is to point out the possible fallout, not to make the final decision for the student. Parents, too, must be voices of reason and reality. Ridiculously high expectations can create all kinds of psychological issues for the students. If, in response to outsized expectations, students focus only on the top and then simply add schools to which they have paid no attention, they can end up emotionally devastated.
Ultimately, students who are happiest about the college process are those who understand their abilities and needs best and who are, therefore, able to find schools that make the best fit. They have researched their lists well, they have asked the tough questions, and, as a result, they have found good matches, schools they can truly embrace. Historically, Milton students have had the gumption and the self-awareness to make such matches. They listen to their hearts and their heads; they let insight, not college rankings, guide them. No Procrustean bed awaits them in their college dorm room. They sleep comfortably.